A few personal tidbits of TMI

~My name is Kelly Lynn Simons Lowe, but I will also answer to Kel, Kel-Bel, Belly, Kid, Honey-Bunny, Mom, Dotta-child, Punkin, Most-Beautiful-Woman-in-the-Entire-Universal-World, Excuse Me, and Elk Butt. Also, you can wave snacks in front of me.

~I don’t like my middle name, Lynn. I think it should be Llewellyn but you don’t plop out with the ability to name yourself, do you? That is a definite glitch in the system; however… now that I’m thinking about it… if it went my way how many people would be running around in the world named Waah or Gimme D. Titty? I guess it’s better to trust the old folks on this one.

~ I am copycatting this whole idea from Fence.

~ These kinds of lists, while fun to read about someone else, always feel self-serving when I do them myself. I’ll get over that.

~ I was born in Santa Maria, California, so when the Beach Boys sang about wishing ‘they all could be California girls’, I was able to coo and preen because I already was.

My son Jesse, showing me how to pull back the bow string. It's easy, mom!

Me, categorically sucking at it. That's as far as I got. Athena I am not.

~ When we moved to Oregon, I was twelve, right on the cusp of adolescence, and I was so depressed by the move that several things went very badly, among which were: I missed half of my sixth grade school year because of phantom ailments, including one ridiculously terrifying day when I couldn’t move my legs and had to pull myself down the hall to the bathroom; I stopped caring about hygiene and wore a crocheted hat whenever I went to school so I wouldn’t have to wash my hair; and I had no friends to sit with at lunch so to avoid being asked by my teacher, Mr Beebe, to sit with him (death knell), I would walk home from school to watch Perry Mason with my dad, who was going to school at the time and had a flexible schedule. The good things about that year? Watching Perry Mason with my dad, listening to country music on the little transistor radio in the kitchen, getting a brand new Narnia poster, escaping into my world of books.

~ In seventh grade I suddenly turned into a swan and things went better after that.

~ When I was five my only pet was the spider who lived on the floor at the end of the hall. I named him Click-Clock and we had many deep and enriching conversations before he disappeared one day, possibly into the vacuum, but my mom’s not talking.

~ I no longer squish spiders, nor do I kill any other living creature if I can help it.

~ While I appreciate dogs, I am much more of a cat person. I also love reptiles and would fill the house with box turtles, iguanas, and snakes if it wasn’t kind of a hassle.

~ I was eight when we got our first dog, Champ, an old pug whose family had had to give him up. I was so heartbroken when he was hit by a car several years later that the only way I could get through it was to lie on my bed and listen to “Dust in the Wind” by Kansas for about four weeks straight. To be honest, I think I’m still not over it because whenever I hear that song I feel like crying.

~ Maybe this explains why I’m now more of a cat person.

~ To continue the critter theme, I consider my power animals to be snakes, turtles, eagles, and owls. In western astrology, my animal is a lion, which I relate to on so many levels. In Lakota astrology, it’s a salmon, which I don’t feel emotionally connected to but understand on an intellectual level, because like salmon, I tend to swim against the current to get to what I want and need. It’s hard and I don’t recommend it. In Chinese astrology, my animal is a dragon, which I think is just about the coolest thing ever, especially because of all the Chinese astrological animals, it’s NOT EVEN REAL.

~ I’m having an awful lot of fun writing this list.

~ When I was seven, I was in an accordion orchestra. I won two trophies for my accordion playing. I used to drag my accordion out to play for guests when they came over. I played accordion with two other girls in what we called “The Ladybug Trio,” for which my Grandma Phyllis made matching patches to put on our jackets.

~ My Grandma Phyllis was the one who taught me to crochet and who wakened me to the wonderful varicolored world of handicrafts. Thank you, Grandma.

~ What I really wanted to play was the piano. I finally got a piano and lessons in high school, and ended up playing keyboard in a band for several years, so that turned out okay. I also played my accordion on a couple songs because the songs needed it. Oh yes they did.

~ I was a singer-songwriter for years and years, tossing my gifts willy nilly to hundreds of people at a time without a care. Now I barely have the range of one octave and am scared to try karaoke. It’s weird to consider.

~ I have such a vibrant imagination that my ambient fire dvd gives me almost as much satisfaction and warmth as a real fire would.

~ I believe in magic, but not faeries. On the other hand, some of my dearest friends have been fairies and I have nothing whatsoever against them. Tim and Bobby and Bill, you made the world a better place and we miss you.

~ I’m really hoping no one was offended by the above comment, which was made with total affection and because those three guys would have laughed. Maybe they’re laughing now.

~ I have smallish boobs but a big ass. Black guys tend to like me.

~ Still not offended? Just wait. :)

~ Halloween trumps all other holidays, but I no longer feel the compulsion to decorate, dress up, or attend parties to celebrate it. My favorite way to spend the evening is to make autumn-related food and watch scary movies with whichever family members are available. This year my parents are going to come over for homemade chili and cornbread and The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. I might be able to talk them into the original version of The Fly, but that could be pushing it.

~ One of my all-time favorite topics is death and dying. One of my favorite shelves in the living room bookcase is lined with horror anthologies, ghost stories, and Stephen King novels. Yet I am an intensely indefatigable optimist. This does not feel like a contradiction to me.

~ Well over half of my library consists of metaphysical books, and occasionally I use tarot cards to further access my intuition and higher self. Just looking at my Rider-Waite deck makes me happy, and I’ve given several accurate readings to friends, so they’ve made other people happy, too.

~ The wee hours are the best hours of the day.

~ While I admire pretty manicured fingernails on other women, I can’t abide even a sliver of white showing on my own.

~ I love trees, flowers that look like the sun, bodies of water both huge and small, and rainy days. I love wind and snow and hot sunshine. I love to watch the birds and squirrels at the feeders, and my cat Horatio watching the birds and the squirrels at the feeders from the back of his chair. And then I think about how I’m watching him watch them and I wonder, who’s watching me? It’s a fun thought.

~ If I have a guru, it’s Eckhart Tolle, whose picture is on the fridge where I can beep his nose whenever I’m putting the glasses away. Sometimes I kiss his forehead. I genuinely love him and seeing him every day makes me happy. But I keep in mind Neal Donald Walsch’s admonition to “be the Master you love.” Yes. I’m working on it.

~ I also think that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross rocks.

~ Another thing that’s been making me happy is a resurgence of artistic expression via drawing and painting. For a visual person, there’s just no better way to sublimate pain and pleasure. I keep an art journal and sometimes draw with my non-dominant left hand because all kinds of yummy stuff crawls out of my subconsciousness then. From the main drawing to the coloring to the final intricate details, the entire process is a catharsis. Painting is the same thing only on a larger messier scale.

~ Someday I will turn the Spare Oom into a studio.

~ Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are my favorite. If I can manage to get my mittens on dark chocolate peanut butter cups from specialty shops, so much the better.

~ When I have guests over, I always think about how to make sure that all their senses are pleased. What are the sounds, sights, tastes, smells, and sensations in the atmosphere? Is there good feng shui so they feel safe? I don’t lead them to a chair but follow them into the room so they can choose their own spot to sit in. My guests’ comfort is very important to me, because if they’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.

~ I am very affected by other people’s energy, which is both a positive and negative attribute and requires a lot of vigilance on my part or I can end up feeling extremely drained or agitated. When I remember, I protect myself by envisioning the white light of God filling and covering me. It works.

~ I have never liked my ankles, my wrists, my cheeks, my upper arms, or my pinky toes. Even though if I was a guy (or gay) I would prefer someone who looked like me to someone who looked like, say, oh, any skinny woman, pick one, I still tend to castigate myself for “being fat.” This is also an attitude I’m working to transform because, good grief.

~ I am really jazzed by life. I smile and laugh a lot.

~ I look forward to dying. I suffer and cry a lot.

~ I rarely buy anything new, but get most of my everything from thrift shops. This is a philosophical decision all the way. I am very particular about my purchases, however, because my main thrust lately has been clearing out and simplifying life, so I get only what I need, or what I’m so struck by that I keep picking it up and putting it down, and walking around with it, and setting it on shelves to see how it looks. If I can’t imagine leaving it in the store, I buy it. I got an almost-new breadmaker for Jesse and Amber the other day. Yes, I’m that sort of mom, but I try to be at least a little classy about it. I gave it a good cleaning first.

~ I double-dee-test talking on the phone. My favorite is a one-on-one face-to-face with a beloved family member or friend, preferably over a cup of something hot.

~ I imagine I’ll be adding to this from time to time.

~ Mulder and Scully, I miss you. The truth is out there. I believe.