As difficult as the inability to know everything, figure out everything, and understand everything is, I guess I wouldn’t trade life’s mysteries for anything. It’s the mysteries that stretch us as we puzzle our way through them. I’m determined to do that now, instead of pretend they’re not there, or try to escape them. I really want to be wholly present to myself! It’s way more fulfilling to live this way.
Last night I was lying in bed, meditating before I went to sleep because I was experiencing a good amount of emotional pain. As I lay there, my mind flitting around and lighting on this thought or that and moving down, down, down – my spirit growing stiller – it suddenly occurred to me that there was something I could do to alleviate my own pain while at the same time offer a listening ear to others. I thought of starting a website.
I know, I already have three, but this one would be entirely anonymous and specific in content, available only to people who in their despair type specific words in the search bar, as I’ve done in the past. I couldn’t find just the right help when I was hurting, and would have benefited greatly from a place to tell my story. I’m actually quietly excited about starting this, and am going to spend time today – really, as long as it takes – thinking it through and putting it together.
I absolutely love that ideas can pop up out of nowhere and feel so “aha!” I’m grateful to believe again that I am being guided through my life, and that I’m not flailing around out here alone.
Oh, and also, the school called this morning and gave me the information I had been asking for! I’ll head down there this week to get everything sorted so I can, hopefully, start in the fall. Cool beans.
I hope everyone has a great Monday. I think we’re going to head downtown today to tour the ships that dock on the waterfront every year before the Rose Parade. I love ships. I’ve never sailed but hope with all my heart I can someday. Love you guys. kiss!