Hello, my faithfuls. This is an indefinite goodbye, as I lay down my blog and a couple other internet forums so I can focus on my relationship with God, and in the process relinquish as much of my ego – and its ensuing drama – as is earthly possible. It’s a hard decision because my blog brings me such pleasure, but over the last few days I’ve come to see that, right now, it’s counterproductive to my process. One day I hope to be back, but for now I’ll be crawling into this chere chrysalis – see it? – where I can grow some beautiful butterfly wings and fly off into a brand new dimension of being. Or, more realistically, see my wings again. I was in the dark for awhile and forgot I had them. To be perfectly honest, I’ve been in the dark for years. And years. And years.
I won’t bore you with all the details of my process, but I will say that it includes prayer and meditation and worship and dance and deep conversations with loved ones and play and artwork and immersion in good teaching and reading and overall conscious living. It also includes intense suffering, as always, but because suffering propels me right back into the light, into acceptance of everything I can’t change, and there are so many things I can’t change, wow, I welcome it like a friend (gulp). Maybe like a friend who calls right when I’m sitting down to dinner, or pounds on the door in the middle of the night after I’ve just fallen asleep, or watches my dog only to have it run away while I’m gone, or borrows my favorite book and folds the pages over and writes in the margins, but still… like a friend.
I’ll really miss sharing my life with you. If anyone wants to talk, about anything, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d love to hear from you! So be here, be now, be present to the moment. Just be. That’s my wish for you. I love you all. xo