Little o’ this, little o’ that, break yo neck on a yoga mat

I woke up all vim-and-vinegary this morning. I had a strange dream or maybe it was two, but I waz cool and back in school and laughing with friends and checking a little book I had in my hand and the main thing was that I was wearing my old black leather jacket. The problem with this is that when I woke up I remembered that my old black leather jacket had been accidentally donated to charity a couple years ago, so I immediately felt angry. At which point I rolled my eyes at myself and said,  “Lordy,  you DO need to have something to complain about all the time, don’t you?” My self agreed and then we laughed and got up and had a bowl of crunchy nuggets in almond milk together. If my self and I weren’t friends, waking up of a morning would suck. I’m holding out for a natty red pleather jacket anyway.

Today I read the first chapter in my book Pilgrims to Awareness and am monumentally stoked! I loved everything the author wrote but this especially:

Be with what is, just as it is: happiness, suffering, joy, pain and all. Accompany everyone in happiness and pain. Accompany yourself. Allow your own life and the natural generosity and compassion of the creation to flow like a river of light shining through.

This is exactly the grandest vision I have of myself; one I’d decided on only a few weeks ago! I’ll be sharing more from this book as the weeks progress and as I discuss it with my friend Linda.

After reading that this morning, I picked up my yoga book and read through a few sections. I’ve decided to focus on mastering the Sun Salutation cycle before attempting the other twelve basic asanas (“steady poses”). I am a waaay beginner at this point, and I don’t even know if I should count the yoga class I took at college, which began each session with crunches accompanied by a boombox blaring either Cher or some other 80s pop band. At least I’m familiar with most of the poses, that much can be said. And I have a yoga mat, that much can also be said.

I don’t think I’ll use it, though. I think what I’ll do is move the coffee table out of the way and use the big area rug, um, area, which will give me more room to spread out and flail around and will minimize the degree of potential for damaging myself or others. The downside to this is that it will require vacuuming at some point so as to avoid getting splinters, which you may think are impossible to get from carpeting but you have obviously never been to my house. Also, there’s a lot of cat hair down there. There’s a lot of cat haireverywhere, but down there is where it breeds. The carpet is a simmering hotbed of breeding cat hair and I’m kind of scared to go anywhere near it. Maybe I should do my yoga practicing outside.

The next time you see me I will be so lean, serene, and sinewy I’ll literally make your eyes burn out of their very sockets. I apologize for this ahead of time. That said, I should confess that I ate an entire bag of parmesan & basil potato chips by myself over the last two days. I got them from the health food section at Freddy’s, so!!!!, but okay, even I know a calorie wearing sloppy sweat pants weighs the same as a calorie in a leotard. Maybe my arteries won’t be as clogged but honey, I’ll still be fat. I plan to make some better choices today, foremost of which will be to stay away from the snack cupboard at my mom’s, which miraculously stays stocked even though my mom is stuck in bed! I think she uses the magickal energies she picks up from all those cooking shows she watches every day. She can’t even swallow yet! Silly rabbit.

Now I’m off to yogacize! Oh, just a little FYI, but the customary ‘good luck’ phrase  for yoga practitioners is not “break a leg.” Or break anything, okay? I need all the positive reinforcement I can get. They don’t snicker and point and call me Grace Kelly for nothing. Love to you all! xo

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