Good morning, sweet peeps! What a beautiful day it is already, even at this early hour, before the sun’s fully shown its face. I’m lying here on the couch in my robe, listening to quiet music, having just trawled through a few websites mentioned at the end of my book Friendship With God, which I finished this morning. The best books are the ones that leave you with a huge happy smile on your face! I also tend to hug the books I love, and caress them lovingly as I place them back on the shelf. But this is from someone who affectionately kisses her pictures of Eckhart Tolle, Jesus, and the top of the Buddha statue’s head whenever she passes by and the spirit moves her. I’m very affectionate, even with inanimate objects, especially if they’re smiling at me. Yeah, I know. They probably prescribe pills for that, and also for talking about yourself in the third person.
Today I have some unexpected free time, as another body was mistakenly scheduled to do the afternoon shift with my mom, so I asked Van if he wants to go thrifting with me later, since it’s something we both love to do and it’s his day off. I’m very much looking forward to this. He hasn’t been to the Goodwill on 122nd and Halsey, and it’s turned out to be my favorite one because it’s in Portland and thus a little more diverse in its content. The demographic in Sandy is about 98% whitebread American and Gresham isn’t far behind that. It’s kind of nice to get out of town and see a few different shades of skin and lifestyle. And it’ll be awesome to spend some time with my oldest and catch up on his life. Plus, he’s the go-to metrosexual in our family and can help me discern what and what-not to buy while I’m out. He has impeccable taste. I found a sheet of notebook paper yesterday while I was searching through storage that was a little tiny journal I’d written of stuff he’d done when he was two years old or so. One of the (ever-enthusiastic, note the liberal exclamations!) entries went something like, “Van is so observant! He always notices when I put up a new picture. He’ll go over to it and point!” and another was “Van is so cute! I put a new shade on the living room lamp today, and he went and got the old one and tried to put it back!” Questioning and correcting my taste choices since 1987. I actually appreciate this.
I’m learning more and more every day what it’s like to simply enjoy life, to keep my ears attuned to the love that God is pouring into them from all kinds of different sources, in all kinds of different ways: through the words and actions of friends, squirrels scampering in the yard, my cat trilling at me or lying on my chest, lyrics from songs, dialogue from TV shows and movies, authors and mentors, being loved and loving in return, giving to and receiving from others, caring for my family, strolling through my neighborhood under towering trees and sky, finding the perfect item at the store right when I need or want it, moving my body in dance, eating healthfully, to name only a few. I’m listening, listening to everything, and as long as I keep myself aware of each moment, stay Present, I am tapped into the most incredible joy. This is, easily, the happiest I’ve ever been and that’s not because anything outside of me has changed. Very little has, and to some people – even to myself, if I let my mind fall into the past or leap to the future – my life might seem to be lacking vital elements to happiness. But the thing is, it’s not. Not fundamentally. Because Who I Am has never changed and never will. Who I Am is already perfect, and I’m finally beginning to truly see and live that. It’s good timing, too, because my outer self is getting older and “loss” is something I am dealing with more now on a regular basis than ever before. But things never really end, do they? They just change form and become something new. Nothing is lost. By that token, it’s also true that nothing is gained – because we already have it! That’s good news. Nothing is lost and we already have everything we need. Absolutely. Wow.
And now it’s time to get dressed, finish the dishes, and take my vitamins. I’m thinking it’s punkin weather and that it would be fun to pick up one or two of them to put on the patio. I have my little list of things to buy at the grocery store, and one thing I’ll be on the lookout for while thrifting is a big pair of reading glasses, the nerdier the better. I’m talking those huge honkin black frames that take over half your face. Those. Or even a pair similar to what my friend Stevie is wearing here. Aren’t they great? Isn’t she great, too? (Hint: YES.) Love you all! Happy autumn!