This is my first post after disconnecting from Facebook, which had brought me the majority of my readers. It’s a scary thing to walk away from it for that reason alone (what if nobody reads me now?), but also because walking away removes me from a social network I’d come to depend on for the majority of my communication. I just had to, though. It was too distracting. So now, if you’re reading this, it’s because you really want to be here, you bookmarked my blog or searched it out, or saw me on your statcounter. Any which way, I want you to know how much I appreciate you coming. Thank you.
The best thing about scurrying for the margins is that now I feel I can be more forthcoming about the things I’m doing, and the thoughts and feelings I’m having. I can tell you a little more about what I’m learning. It isn’t conventional stuff and most of my friends are definitely not on the same page, though thankfully, they love me and put up with me anyway. I tell yoo whut though, it’s weird not having a muse… I’ve always had someone in mind when I’m writing, but this is the first time in a long time that I don’t. So even more than finding my voice, I’ve had to find my ear… or the ear that’s listening. I’m not sure how to go about doing that. Does Stephen King have a muse? Oh yeah, he has the cigar-smoking guy in the basement. And I do suddenly remember May Sarton saying in one of her books that it was odd not having a muse to write for after her partner had died, and that she felt she’d lost her words. That’s good to remember; I can relate. I’ve had three muses in my adult life, and I know how powerful it is to have some one to write to, and for… it makes all the difference if you can imagine a specific person nodding, smiling, laughing, frowning, disapproving, or showing any emotional reaction to something you say. When there’s no one in particular, you feel as if you’re writing into the ether. Maybe I’ll make someone up. [Note: Since writing the above, I have received a comment from the lovely Fence. So there’s one! The ball is rolling now. :]
So today Scott had the wonderful idea to drive to downtown Portland and see the big Christmas tree in Pioneer Square. We were all bundled up and ready for a Downtown Christmassy Afternoon when about fifteen minutes out of town the car brakes lurched and growled and scared us, so we turned back toward home to get the van. On the way there, however, we decided it would be enough to rent a Red Box movie at Fred Meyer’s, walk around Sandy and look at Christmas lights, take a gander in Goodwill for a round lamp shade, meander down to the new brew pub and peek in through the windows, buy some fresh coconut curry soup at Safeway, and then head home to put up the Christmas tree. We did most of that, but because the Jim Carrey Christmas Carol wasn’t in, we got Predators and The Last Airbender in Blu-Ray (the boys are coming over later) and instead of a lamp shade at Goodwill I found:
I, repeat, FOUND:
And not just any old boots, but the boots I have been waiting to find for at least ten years, if not longer. The boots I’ve decided over and over again to just buy even if they cost full-price because they’re so classic and awesome, but I never had the money to get them. I found… dark brown harness boots! The one pictured is exactly the boot I got (well, and wonder of wonders, there were two of them), and for way cheaper than the original price. I would like to tell you I got them for $3.99, but you know, we’re still a long way from Eden. Oh, and did I mention they were perfectly MY size? And did I mention they were BRAND NEW, NEVER WORN? I’m jazzed up the ying-yang.
All right, that was probably as conventional as you can get, this lust for merchandise and the desire to see Christmas lights. But I promise… I will get crazy in future, okay? I have a couple things already in mind to tell you, and they’re kind of fun. But Scott and Jess will be here in a minute (I had about half an hour to grab for post-writing) and we’ll be heating and eating our soup and watching the first movie. Van will be here soon to show us his new tat. He and Jesse, who got his yesterday, are now sporting another set of matching tattoos: this time shovels stuck in the ground with the little saying “Ya Dig It?” next to them. It’s one of their inside jokes. I love my kids, and I love that they love each other. It’s so great. Have a wonderful day, peeps! Love! xo