On goodbyes and hellos

Hello, sweeties. It’s the eve of the new year, and I have a couple things to share with you today. The first is an imagination exercise that has been immeasurably helpful to me over the past however-longs. It’s an appropriate accompaniment to New Year’s, actually, as it’s all about putting old things away.

It came to me while I was meditating one day. I was letting my mind rest, gently nudging away pesky thoughts, when I suddenly envisioned myself seated on the floor before a fireplace in a warm, amber-lit, bookshelf-lined study, holding a slim volume in my hands. I realized that the book I was holding contained the particular story that had been trying to intrude on my thoughts at that moment, and that all I had to do to let the story go was to close the book and place it on the shelf in its proper place. I envisioned myself doing that, and as soon as I did, the story lost its power over me.

A warm, dark, firelit study lined with shelves is one of the visions that comforts me most, and because I love books, it makes the most sense to me to see my letting-go process in this way. But maybe you love movies, in which case you’d see your stories in DVDs or film reels lined in a row. Maybe you prefer to see your stories in paintings hanging on a gallery wall, or if you’re a collector of kitsch, in a series of display plates or salt and pepper shakers. It doesn’t matter! The idea is to acknowledge the beauty and importance our stories have been to us over our lives, but to know when it’s time to put them down and live the immediate story happening to us at the moment.

I know that many of you feel differently from me when it comes to reincarnation, but oh, I feel such comfort when I’m in my imaginary study and can see the vast shelves filled with stories, my stories, from over the centuries. This short life as Kelly is a jewel, but it’s only one in the midst of a treasure chest that never stops expanding. I’m not yet ready to give up the ghost for the next adventure, because I feel I have a few more things to learn in this body, but lately I’ve been taking a gander back at the events of my life and seeing them as practice for the next. I’ve done a lot of wonderful things pretty well, but really, have never mastered any of them. I’m looking forward to mastery some day. I’ve been recognizing the people in my life as fellow travelers with whom I’ve contracted, in order for us to help each other grow, before each incarnation. This has deepened my respect and appreciation for my friends and family, for my teachers and spiritual mentors, and even for those I don’t like but who are in my life anyway. Each one has a purpose for my benefit, and I have a purpose for their benefit.

Just now I’m remembering something kind of funny. On Christmas day, when we were over at Peri’s and I was watching Van and Jesse play Rock Band – Van on the guitar and Jesse on the drums – I said, “Hey, let’s meet up after this life and decide to be a family again, only next time we’ll do it right and be a family band, instead of a bunch of individual musicians. We’ll make a mint.” Van said, “Maybe that’s what we were supposed to do THIS time.” His comment took me by surprise, and we all laughed a little ruefully, but I was warmed by the idea that we have as many chances as it takes to get things ‘right.’ So look for us again around, say, 2060. I’ll be lead guitar. I’ve tried three times to learn that thing and can’t seem to make it very far past the callus point, but I’m telling you, in my heart I’m a guitarist.

Which reminds me of something else! During the only past-life regression I’ve done for myself, which was very short but very cool, one of the people I saw I’d been was a minstrel, you know, a bard. I was a young man and hoo-boy, did I love the ladies, and I wasn’t really too much into God, but when I played my guitar and sang, I went to a different place, a very spiritual place.

Life is so amazing. So amazing. I’m filled with gratitude toward God, the Source of everything, of provision and comfort and protection and guidance, all given generously to us if we only ask. I’m grateful that now, at this time in my life, I’m reopening my spiritual eyes and ears, able to glean help from invaluable resources I’d ignored before. I’m on my knees with gratitude for my family, that knot of souls who have been with me for longer than I know, and for this quiet, peaceful time in which I can rest and study and grow without external stresses hammering at me. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but it’s a soft nest for now, and I don’t take it for granted.

And I’m grateful for all of you, for those with whom I’ve shared meals and laughter, and for others I’ve never met but have joined hearts with in moments of authentic connection. I think of all of you at various times; you’ve made a difference, have added to my experience here in ways both tangible and invisible, and I hope I’ve done the same for you. (Twila, I’ve thought of you so often during the past weeks, as you’ve struggled, I’m sure, to come to grips with the loss of beautiful little Lennon.) We’re all connected, we’re all chips off the old Block, we rise and fall and rise again without end. And I’m happy, to the core of my being, to know you. May you all have a wonderful, truly transporting, next year. The Mayans predicted some pretty great stuff for us, after all. :) Love, more love, and infinite love!


Filed under Been here before, Beloveds, Cold places, Fambly

6 responses to “On goodbyes and hellos

  1. Peter Trainor

    Hi Kelly, if only I lived in Oregon I could give you guitar lessons…oh well. Hope you have a great new year. The snow in Ireland has all melted and now it is just wet…and because its Ireland we also have water shortages…because so many pipes burst when they frooze. Your bookshelf picture looks like one up in my attic. I have many books there that I no longer want but havn’t had time to get rid of. Movie of the moment is Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp that my nine year old got for Christmas. Anyway, I am rambling now…but all the best in the new year!

    • Oh man, it would be awesome to take guitar lessons from you, Peter! Bummer. I’ve tried to teach myself twice, and the third time I took a few lessons from a teacher but he was, I’m not joking, probably certifiably insane. After his last rant against society, the government, and every individual who was out to get him, I decided to call it a day. I still have my guitar, which is beautiful and which I love. Again, bummer.

      A sodden, water-pipe-bursted Ireland sounds TERRIBLE. You poor guys. We still have quite a bit of snow on the ground, and it’s more treacherous now than when it first fell because the temps are below freezing so it’s more ice than snow. Fun times. And I hear you on the bookshelves! I’m constantly culling stuff because I like to be organized and don’t enjoy owning things I no longer use, but that said, I still have tons of books I will never ever read again, even if I once adored them. That’s probably my last area of sentimental hoarding. Except for a choice few of my kids’ old toys, which I keep saving for grandkids I may not have for years, if ever, seeing as my boys enjoy dating too much to settle down, and my daughter and her hubs live all the way across the country and have other plans before kids, anyway. Drat.

      Who’s rambling now? :) Enjoy your weekend!

  2. I have no musical talent whatsoever. In third class we were taught to play the recorder, but I don’t think that counts as I never got further than Three Blind Mice.

    I have no burst pipes. One of the joys of living in an apartment complex! But the council have been switching the water off around 7 each night for the past couple of days. We’re a lot luckier here than Dublin where it sounds terrible though.

    And now they say the snow is coming back! Booooooooooo! sez I.

    How was your New Years? I did nowt but watch The Lord of The Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. We’re moving on to two & three later today/tmro. And cough and splutter, on account of a cold. Still, tis all good. All the time :)

    • No burst pipes except for the bubble around your recorder dreams… Okay, that was REALLY reaching and made little to no sense, but we can laugh anyway, right? It’s a new year and this year’s made for laughter, I so decree. :) Isn’t it great living in an apartment? Seriously. Aside from Laura Upstairs talking WILDLY loud on the phone yesterday, holy smokes why?, it’s pretty quiet and everything’s done for you and even the patio gets its leaves blown off once a week by the gardeners. Pretty close to heaven, except for the fact that the nearest large body of water is miles away. Heaven is perched on the shore of a lake, or the ocean, whichever is fine, and you can check it out because it says so in the bible. YES IT DOES.

      Your New Year’s sounds just awesome. Last night Scott and I ordered Chinese and watched Wall-E, which made me laugh more the second time, and then because we both wake up around 4 am, we went to bed around 8 pm and were snoring within seconds. He has to work today, so I was going to go over to hang out with my mom while my dad and bro watch football, but I’m inclined to stay home all cozied up in my robe, doing robe things. I might change my mind later but I kinda don’t think so. I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow because it’s the traditional Putting Away Christmas Day. I can’t wait to get stuff back to normal again.

      Feel better!!! I’d send you over some chicken soup, but it would probably freeze before it got to you. Months and months after I’d sent it. *stupid economy international mail.* hee. xo

  3. I love Wall-E, first it is a great film. And second that’s the first film I went to see with Himself, so it is one that I have decreed we shall watch once a year from now on :)

  4. Aww, that’s sweet. Make sure you hold hands as often as possible. :)

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