This one IS a love song

It’s so quiet here… I love it. I’m between projects at the moment so I thought I’d take a little time to write. Earlier, I painted my newest canvas a combination of black, red, and white–kind of a dark winy brown, very beautiful–in anticipation of my newest mixed media piece. I’m excited. I’ve done two recently, the first of which I absolutely love to sniggers because it zings with energy, and the second I feel okay about, though I keep looking at it and thinking it needs some kind of change because it feels a tad stagnant. I just haven’t figured out what that is yet. While the paint was drying on my new canvas I decided to try to reinforce Marga my tree woman sculpture’s base. She’s so big and heavy that creating a base for her is difficult, using my usual methods. I think I really may have to begin making plaster bases and… sigh… that’s okay. Whatever works best. Everything is a constant adjustment, it seems, and requires learning something new! Just like life.

The Sun, a Snake, and a Hole in the Ground–July 2012–approx 30″ x 39″

Escape Artist–August 2012–approx 18″ x 24″

[And here I offer my customary disclaimer: Due to the cavelike nature of my apartment, the colors are a bit off. One day I will live in a light-filled home–actually, one day soon!–and I won’t have to deal with this challenge when taking photos.)

My birthday is coming up this weekend, and as typically happens, I found myself mucking around in a pity-party funk Monday morning, positive I would be forgotten or neglected by my family when the Day rolled around. *cue eyeroll* Such a catastrophizer, seriously. Last year I planned a hobbit’s extravaganza and treated everyone to the Japanese Gardens and dinner out afterwards, but this year finds us a little stretched so we can’t do anything quite like that. I’d figured that planning my birthday myself, and paying for everybody, would circumvent my secret hope to be spoiled (and expectation to be forgotten) and it did–it really worked. I had the best birthday ever. So this year’s a little tricksier.

Anyway, on my mucky Monday morning, as I was stewing and praying for help to rise above it, I suddenly got the inspiration to go over to Scott’s mom’s house and help her organize for her move. (Her house and yard are too much for her now that Scott’s dad is gone and she’d like a smaller place.) I’d helped her the previous Saturday and we’d had such a nice time together–talking and eating and getting quite a bit of work done in between to boot. This time, as it was Scott’s day off, we also had his brawn to help with hauling stuff. We were able to get all the bookcases cleaned out and whittled down to only two, quite an accomplishment. Next week I’ll go back and help with the knickknacks and keepsakes, many of which will require an expert’s opinion because they’re pretty old–we’ll arrange for that, too.

Helping Scott’s mom do something that was too overwhelming for her to do on her own made ALL the difference to my self-absorbed attitude. Our family has been talking about sustainable community living for awhile now, and this is exactly how it works. I may not be able to drag giant armoires up the stairs by myself anymore (I can’t believe I used to, but I did!), but I can pick up a box of books, something that’s incredible hard for Fae now. I think maybe I’ll put together a taco bar on my birthday night and invite all my loved ones over. We can have rum and ginger ales, my new favorite drink, and play Canasta! I wish I could play my Rammstein Pandora station for everyone, but that’s just too much, even I know that.

I love my Rammstein Pandora station. When I told Torie this she asked, “Are you angry or something?” ha. Nein, nein, not at all! It isn’t angry music to me, although it sounds angry because it’s German. (If you’re German, please don’t be angry at that statement; I’m only referring to the old Dana Carvey and Steve Carell sketch. Just click on the picture below to watch.)

It’s actually the only music lately that I can feel right here in my solar plexus, and it helps me paint. I especially love their song Amerika, even though, as they emphatically assert in English so there’s no mistake, it is not a love song. Plus, on Pandora, lots of other bands rear their honey-lovin heads as well, so I get a variety of the same genre of music. Disturbed and Apocalyptica and System of a Down rush to mind. And then when I need a change, I switch over to Sigur Ros or Peter Fox. If you haven’t heard Peter Fox’s Alles Neu, you are in for a treat. Nice.

Well friends, I need some lunch. I hope you’re all well and happy today. Love! xo